wall

I seem to have hit this point where nothing is right and there's nothing that can be done or that I can do to change how I feel. I've gone off the "serious" reading for too long, maybe. I think that the disappointment of not going or knowing about my old job is quite painful. I think that this has been going on for a long time now and keeping hopeful is becoming an art form in and of itself. If I visit with people I don't feel like talking about the cancer and I don't feel that visiting is the same anymore, because I am always too aware that I have cancer. Part of me is so happy to have hair and eyelashes again so that I can pass as "normal" and I look healthy from the outside, and another part of me is sick of the neuropathy, the digestion issues, the lack of sleep, etc., etc.,. Keeping it together has been hard these past 2 weeks for some reason. I'm going to take a hint from Edmund and sit with my face toward the sun, listening to the birds.