Setting Goals and a 2 Year Health Plan

(Simonton, p.105)
"The goals to set in your 2 year health plan are bottom-line goals, the minimum you intend to accomplish.....This week, do no more than setting your goals in the first 3 areas. Take several weeks to complete your work on this assignment."

"Creating Your Plan

Step One

Life activities have artificially been divided into 6 different categories: purpose in life, play, exercise, social support, nutrition, and creative thinking.

1. Purpose in life: Activities that answer the question, 'Why am I here?' These might include your occupation, your role in the family, your spiritual or civic activities, or anything else that gives you reason or zest for living.

2. Play: Any activity that produces the feeling of joy or that can be considered as 'having fun.'

3. Exercise: Any physical activity or any time spent mentally focusing on physical activities (especially for those temporarily unable to exercise).

4. Social support: The time you spend with family and friends, or times you spend with a psychotherapist, minister, church group or support group.

5. Nutrition: This category includes not just eating, but any efforts you make around food and nutrition -- preparing meals, taking vitamins, going to support groups that focus on diet, and reading or educating yourself about food and nutrition. Your beliefs about food and nutrition are vitally important.

6. Creative thinking: Meditation and imagery are included in this category, as are any specific forms of intentional relaxation. Reading, seminars, or courses related to these areas can also be included.

Step Two

On a sheet of paper, write down each category, then list the activities you do in each category.....Looking ahead 2 years, what would you most like to change?....."

Step Three

Rank the order of the categories as based on your desire to work on them, plus your experience with them. For example, if you spend most of your energy on social support but you would really like to spend more time on diet and nutrition, then [that] might be your first priority.....

Step Four

Now you will begin to set more specific goals. For your first goal, your number one priority, you will create a three month goal. I recommend to our patients that this goal be half of whatever they are currently doing in that category. [If you now 8 healthy meals a week, write 4 per week, because you are setting a lower limit, not upper]
.....After the three month goal, create a six month goal, then a nine month goal.
.....This method of setting goals also confronts fear-producing thoughts like, 'I've got to hurry up and make some changes or I am going to die.' Setting a gentle pace helps you to deal with that kind of desperation and fear in a healthy way.
.....Finally, be aware of a crucial category not listed here: rest. Pay attention to when you need to rest in any area.

Step Five

Now you are ready to write down goals for your second priority. The first goal that you will set is a six month goal. The second is your nine month goal. Stop there and go on to your third priority.

Step Six

The first step you will set for the activity you listed third is a nine month goal. This is the only goal you will write down at this time for this category."

Simonton recommends taking time for the first 3 categories, then taking several weeks to outline the rest of your goals.

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Exercise for Meditation

Simonton's book offers 5 different scripts for you to record your own self-hypnosis/meditation/visualizations. I won't write them here, but you can get them in The Healing Journey. There are 5: changing beliefs about cancer; developing trust; communicating with your inner wisdom; increasing your trust in yourself through working with pain; using meditation to decrease the fear of death.

This is a link that offers excellent meditation scripts. I have recorded a few on to the computer, which I have really personalized and adapted, as well as the ones from Simonton's book, and use them daily. I'm sticking to Simonton's plan of listening to the first of his series of meditations (about 7-15 minutes, depending on how you record it) for approximately 3-6 weeks. I haven't stuck to his plan of listening to it 3 or 4 times a day yet!

http://www.hypnosense.com/Scripts.htm

Exercise for Working With Imagery

Just so you know, I'm doing these exercises as I go along, too.

(Simonton, p.68)

"A Plan For Changing Beliefs and Developing Greater Emotional Mastery

The most effective time to work on your beliefs is when you are experiencing emotional pain, because then the unhealthy beliefs will be easier to identify. It will be clear that your undesirable emotions are interfering with your life -- for example, if fear is interfering with your sleep. [Atavan is also EXCELLENT when I get out of control]
Here is a process for working on your beliefs.

Step #1 Identify the undesirable emotion you are feeling.

Step #2 Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle from top to bottom.

Step #3 In the left-hand column, list 5 or more beliefs producing the emotion.

Step #4 Eveluate each belief with Maultsby's questions. [See previous post]

Step #5 For the unhealthy beliefs, write out healthier, compatible beliefs in the right-hand
column.

Step #6 Keep the paper with you, and when you feel the undesirable emotion, pull out your list
and read it. (You may need to do this 2 to 20 times a day.)

Step #7 In addition, 3 times daily in a calm, relaxed state, using your breathing to help you
relax, imagine the healthier beliefs. Do this for at least 3 weeks, or until the new beliefs
become your new, unconscious attitudes.

Example: Fear

1. I'm going to die within 2 years and leave my daughter, regardless of what I or anyone else does.
/
1. I may or may not be alive in 2 years, and what I do makes a significant difference.
.....
4. I may be able to get well, but I would never be able to maintain my health and keep the cancer away.
/
4. I can get well, and I can maintain my health and keep the cancer away."

Simonton uses the term "healthy thinking" instead of positive thinking because it "has to do with the factual aspects of the belief....

Unhealthy thinking: I will be dead in 2 years regardless of what I do.

Positive thinking: I will be alive and healthy 2 years from now.

Healthy thinking: I may or may not be alive 2 years from now, and what I do makes a
significant difference.

.....The problem is that positive thinking doesn't necessarily align itself with the facts of nature or with real life. We are attempting to develop beliefs based on fact. Healthy thinking is aligned with reality."

(Simonton, p.71)

"Take a few moments to write down what you believe to be true about cancer in general, and about your particular diagnosis and your chosen treatment. Then use the 5 questions to evaluate your beliefs."

Then, Simonton gives 3 central beliefs about cancer that you can begin to work with:

"1. The body has a natural ability to heal itself and overcome cancer. When cancer cells and normal cells are put together in the laboratory, cancer cells have never been demonstrated to attack or destroy normal cells. Never! However, under the sam conditions, white blood cells routinely attack and destroy cancer cells. Cancer itself is composed of weak, confused, deformed cells.

2. Medical treatment can help your body to heal itself, making it your ally in getting well.

3. Cancer is feedback that indicates a need for change -- that you need to do more of the things that being you joy andulfillment, and fewer of the things that result in emotional pain; that you need to learn to thestresses of life in healthy ways. This message is one of love. Acting on it can help you to align yourself with your true nature and significantly influence your body's ability to eliminate the cancer."

Simonton says that changing your beliefs feels like driving you car on the left-hand side of the road, or for you Brits, Thais, East-Indians, perhaps a huge chunk of the world when you think about it, the right-hand side.

More from Simonton; Imagery and Inner Wisdom

(p.66) "Your imagination has already played an important role in your illness. Reflect back upon your experience in receiving the diagnosis and the ensuing discussion regarding treatment and prognosis. What were your thoughts? What were your feelings? Were you primarily hopeful, imagining recovery? Or were you more fearful, dreading what was to come? The chances are that you experienced a combination of images, positive and negative, healthy and unhealthy. And all affect your body at the cellular level."

I had taken myself to the emergency department at Guelph General Hospital. Mike was at work and difficult to get hold of. I was admitted, some tests were done, a CT scan was taken on my enlarged abdomen, and then the Dr. returned saying "I'm really sorry but our radiologist feels it's cancer." He left, then the nurse came in and gave me a hug and said she was sorry. I said "You mean this is real?" And she said "This is real."
Then I was alone and tried to get through to Mike on my cell to ask him to come to the hospital after work. I didn't want to call my parents because they're older and I didn't want to worry them, and I didn't want to worry my sisters. We were supposed to pick up Mike's sister from the airport, and after Mike came to the hospital and I told him about our new situation Mike called his mom at her cottage to tell her what was happening and to say that he wouldn't be able to pick up his sister because this had just happened and his mother insisted that he had to pick up his sister. Mike ended up having his sister paged in the airport to take a Red Cab here and he never heard a further word until he went home later.
We met with an angel of a doctor who gave us great hope together, then I remained in the hospital and Mike went home.
Hopeful, fearful, dreading....

"These images are related to your beliefs about the nature of your illness and treatment in general, as well as related to your beliefs about what your personal experience and treatment will be. Remember, the beliefs that trouble us the most are often based on our interpretation of facts, not on the facts themselves. You can learn to change your frightening or unhealthy beliefs and replace them with healthy beliefs. This will help you to get well.
[C. M. Maultsby] developed a simple, 5 question test for evaluating the relative health value of any belief.
Ask yourself:

1. Does this belief help me protect my life and health?
2. Does it help me achieve my short- and long- term goals?
3. Does it help me to resolve or avoid my most undesirable conflicts (whether these conflicts
are within myself or with other people)?
4. Does it help me feel the way I want to feel?

And, when appropriate, also ask:

5. Is the belief based on facts?

If you can answer yes to 3 or more of these quesions, then the belief you hold is considered relatively healthy. If there are fewer or no yes answers, it is important you change your belief to a healthier one."

[beliefs create emotions, emotions are an important driving force in the immune system and other healing systems. Healthy images increase your sense of power, well-being, and peace of mind.

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More From Simonton: Working with Imagery and Inner Wisdom

Summary of Beginning Your Healing Work (p.63)

*Have you created a special time and place for doing your healing work each day?
*Have you involved your primary support person in your work?
*Who makes up your support team? What role would you like each person to play?
*Have you given some consideration to using a therapist to help you?
*If you are using a therapist, what do you think about the work you've done so far?
*If you have joined a support group, how do you feel before and after you attend the sessions?
*Have you identified the stresses/changes that have been a part of your life during the past eighteen months?
*How have you decided to handle questions from friends and family about your health?
*As you get better, how will you handle requests to visit other patients?
*What have you done to reward yourself for the hard work you've been doing to get well?

From O. Simonton and Reid Hensen, "The Healing Journey"

Already I know that this is going to be a heavy book, but Simonton has been referenced in many things that I've read on healing and this is a great book thus far. Some of these exercises have previously been done.

A Forgiveness Exercise (p.51)
"Write down the name of anyone who seems to bring up any feelings of resentment in you. Next to that person's name, write why you resent him or her. Then, going down your list one name at a time, close your eyes and imagine something good happening to each person - something you know he or she would especially like. Do this as often as resentful feelings about each person come up."

Messages and benefits of illness (p.51)
".....Three very important areas for exploration are stress prior to cancer, secondary gain from the illness, and the message of the illness.
.....In our program, we begin by identifying stresses 6 to 18 months before the onset of cancer
.....Sarting with 18 months ago today, list any major changes that have taken place in your life
.....Whatever the change, the onset of the illness may be an indication that you are not able to deal effectively with the stress of that change. Other people may be able to, but you are not "other people". At this time in your life, certain changes may also be more difficult to handle than they have been previously
......Stress is never the only factor in the development of cancer, and it varies in importance from one person to another. But once the cancer is diagnosed, it is the factor that we can do the most about."

"Similarily, I ask patients to take a look at how cancer may be helping them deal with stress. What would you say are some of the secondary gains of your cancer?.....among other things, cancer can allow you to say no to yourself or to others in regard to things that you don't want to do. It can allow you to say yes to important parts of yourself that you have previously denied.
...With cancer, limits and rules become suspended; all of a sudden there may be great freedom to refocus your life in many different ways.
I think of this need to refocus as the great message of cancer. Over and over again I have seen cancer as the body's way of shocking a person into making changes."

1. Decide to get well. Make the decision to do whatever you need to do to get well, knowing that this will take you in the direction of joy and away from pain - both physical and mental pain.

2. Decide to open to who you are, and in doing so allow yourself to be directed by desire and joy and guided by the wisdom that resides within and around you.

3. Develop trust in yourself, trust in others, trust in God, and in all there is. You can nurture your relationship with yourself by acting with integrity; this will also nurture your relationship with others and your relationship with all there is.

4. Ask for help. Open yourself to accepting help. In doing so, watch for preconceptions about where and from whom you can expect help. Don't limit yourself to the information you have right now. Stay open to new sources.

5. Become more aware of your thoughts and feelings of guilt, blame, and failure. Taking responsibility for your health does not mean you are to blame for getting ill. It does not mean you are a failure if you don't improve as much as you think that you should.

6. At the same time, move in the direction of accepting more responsibility for your life, your health, your happiness. You are not the sole creator of your reality, but you are its co-creator. Experience how much you can affect your universe.

7. Feel and acknowledge your emotions, and learn to express them in ways that are appropriate for you and that maintain your personal integrity.

8. Actively participate in the healing process with aliveness, with positive expectancy, and with enthusiasm.

9. Develop the attitude of loving, alive curiosity.

10. Hold high thoughts. Think about things that are mentally, emotionally, and spiritually uplifting or comforting to you.

"These ten actions stimulate the healing process and bring a person closer to physical, mental, and spiritual balance....The exercises in the next chapter will help you get started."

To be continued.....


The author suggests looking for and working with a therapist. This I agree with and I have been connected with an amazing Guide.

The author also suggests suport groups.

An overview of the work ahead (p.57)
"The work we do with the patients at the Simonton Cancer Centre revolves around the basic premise that cancer is a message of love. If a significant part of the cause of cancer is trying to be who we are not, then healing cancer involves opening to who we are....
Here is an outline of the process:" See above 10 suggestions; I can't cut and paste this for some reason.

Chakras

My assignment

I have been connected with a wonderful therapist -- she works through music, journals, multimedia and talking, of course; I don't know if I mentioned her before, and she's not my hypnotherapist. I always go there thinking I'll be as together as glue and every time I just open up and a wind blows through my middle, which is like an open sweep.
This week one question I'm exploring is what is the meaning of grace to me. This can be a fantastic and huge question, so if you'ld like you can keep reading this entry, which will talk about religious beliefs moreso than cancer related issues, and which will also help me to answer the question for Monday or whenever I get to it with my new Guide.
From my etymology book -- Grace: favour; prayer of blessing or thanksgiving; pleasing quality; grateful
From my synonyms (and antonyms) book: elegance, poise, gracefulness, poise, beauty, loveliness, charm, refinement, polish, propriety, decorum (CLUMSINESS)
favour, goodwill, kindness, benevolence, goodness, generosity, compassion, clemency, mercy, pardon, forgiveness (UNKINDNESS)
blessing, benediction, thanksgiving, prayer
v. adorn, embellish, decorate, ornament, enhance, honour, favour, distinguish, dignify

I'm going to go with clemency here first because writing that word got to my throat (leniency, tenderness, kindness, humanity, mildness, tolerance, moderation, compassion).

All of those above words encompass the actions of family, nurses, doctors, and friends, extended family friends, adopted "love" family (sisters), and all of those who care about me. All of your expressions have touched me deeply and stay with me throughout this rally.

The next word that got me was mercy (pardon, forbearance, pity, magnamity, benevolence, grace).
I do believe that God hears my prayers, and receives my "words", cries, voice, meditations. I do believe that the beauty that sourrounds us is God's love, and I do believe that the life in everything is God. I believe that Namaste is me greeting the God in you. I believe that Shalom is a wish of peace upon you. I believe that God bless you is a blessing. And I believe that all of these are given to us as ways of regarding others and interacting, and that these are the roots of all yearnings.

Then humanity and mildness: I've experienced, throughout this struggle, that the love is greater than the harm. There are time of deep darkness and sadness, or I have felt sometimes that the medicine was launching a large attack on my whole body, but the love I've experienced and continue to grow in gives my mind something to pin to and I can reach for the height of the fulcrum. Sometimes this is a fight, and one mantra is, of course, "Atavan, Atavan, Atavan" when it seems too difficult. But sometimes it feels, when those moods and emotions overtake me, that I'm throwing a tantrum and need to remember Grace in all of it's above meanderings. So then I do remember and the welling in my throat quells a bit and I can coast more easily until some distraction takes over and I'm on top again.

Shopping and re-decorating/purging is a great distraction!

Also, not mentioned above, but super important to me, is the grace I receive through study and reading. Now also, with my human Guide/therapist/interpreter, I am receiving great wisdom and this grace is wonderous. So helpful. She regards everything in terms of relationship, or so I've come to understand. And when I express any feelings of separation from God she tells me that God for here IS, and her interaction is just as any other relationship. Through her talent and passion for music she interacts with the world, giving strength to some, an outlet to others, praise for her faith, leaving little gifts of kindness resonating behind and with her. Musicians hear and inhabit an entire other world that must be fantastic!

Now for the more religious part. I may have mentioned before that I have decided that the faith of my upbringing is too hard to shake. Though I have dabbled and read, and continue to borrow from other faiths anything that I feel as a practice brings me closer to God, I have decided that Christ lived. Whether Christ was God's only son, I believe that Christ's message was that he was completely resonating or attuned with his highest vibration, and that God's grace could flow through him, in action and wisdom (word). I believe that he resonated through his intuition/immediate insight, and that that is what informed his being, and I now believe that our intuition is the "kingdom of God" within.
So by living through his intuition, Christ naturally felt that the life animating Him is the same life animating you, and that this life is to be revered and loved and tended for. I now believe that we can only do this for eachother, revere and love and tend for eachother. Working with children really helped me to grow in this regard, but it is really with my illness, when I was/am truly on the receiving end of this is so many ways, that I felt it/feel it through and through. I understand it better. Also, I have had so much time to study now, and I feel that there is some sort of integration happening within. NONE OF THIS COULD HAVE HAPPENED WITHOUT OTHERS. Everyone matters so much.

This, I believe, is what God's love is all about (everyone including animals and plants, the elements, etc.). And this is the ultimate Grace: to have been given life and to be responsible for that life, lived according to our highest intuition, and therefore God's guidance (laws), which are there to tend for all. For me, Christ was the word of God because He LIVED the word of God, through complete access and adherence to this intuition. Therefore, he set an example, and the best example, for us to live by, believing (but for him, KNOWING) that we can all do it, too.

So that, so far, is what Grace means to me! Thanks for listening. xoxoxox

Yikes!!

Well, today was my last chemo, not the second last as I had thought.
So, I'm feeling very glad that this round is done. And, I am very wary of it returning.
In early December I have a CT scan and a follow-up appointment.
To be honest, I've found it difficult to meditate alone and to keep up motivation. All of that alone is silly. Now I've got to take myself to meditate every day without complaint. I've got to surf that wave of emotional collapse and stay up top. Faith is faith. xox

I'm tired of looking like a cleaning lady.