Keeping on keeping on

Sometimes it feels as if there is just a stasis, and that I'm not getting past resentments and I'm not hopeful enough or there's a right way to do things and I've taken a left turn. This morning I feel like I need to be guided out of a welling funk. It's possible that I'm letting my mind wander, and it's also possible that I'm experiencing fear.

After the Dr.s Appointment

My fabulous Dr. reiterated that there has been significant improvement throught my tumor (plural) shrinkage, so we'll continue with 2 more chemo rounds, then do a radioactive heart test, because one of my drugs causes heart problems at a certain threshold, much as the cisplatin caused neuropathy. Don't want that!!
I am meditating more, now, to the self-recorded ones from the Simonton recommended ones in his book, as well as modified ones from the scripts which there is a link for on these pages. These are becoming more clear and mentally powerful as I practice them more.
Not juicing as much as I should but I am totally aware of what I'm eating.
My therapy is the greatest psycho/emotional helper - I'm blessed and guided to be placed with my Teacher/Guide. And now, as I start to open up to Mike about the things I discuss with my Guide, he's known some of these things all along~ What the??? But he's known it for himself; I may have suspected these things, been told about them or have been informed to do them before, but I haven't known it for me, and I think you need or have to know certain things yourself. You have to learn to perceive and then see anew. And then ACT anew, from the heart.
I have managed to do this before (during a particularily torturous employment period) which changed the conditions in my life dramatically as I received my next job, which I adored.
But, obviously, there's more that needs changing as I refocus my life in many different ways.

prescription

2 more rounds of chemo, heart test, then CT scan. Apparently one of my drugs affects the heart, much in the way that one of my former drugs affected the nerves. Things are still shrinking, though, and other things are less prominent. There has been a significant improvement overall, and I go for chemo today, then again New Year's Eve day. On I walk, but looking around more.

Sudden recurrence of thought

Who I am is not diminished without hair. Who we are is not diminished by illness or disability.

CT scan today

Today is the scan that tells of the success of this round of chemo.
Man, I pray that this is good.
My throat has been throbbing with tears this week, and last.
It's letting go of the rope and just jumping. Stepping out of the boat.

Summer Pictures

In case anyone is weary of the weather, here are some pictures for you. Click on them and you can feel like you're there!