Day after the appointment day

After walking with Mike last night, I went for a beautiful walk today for probably half to a quarter hour in the old Italian Ward area of Guelph where we live and really made a point of noticing and appreciating the gardens and the flowers that are blooming right now. I'm finding it difficult to classify where my head is at any moment, but I'd like to be able to say that my mind's in the present, so now I'm practicing being here in the Now or the Holy Instant as well as starting to practice surrender. I still flicker into moments of panic and fear but I'm learning that I can pull back into the present with a deep, soft drawing-in and letting go of breath. I am doing this as we speak because this reality is so new to me.